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I decided to take a little break for a week. It’s Mercury Retrograde as well so, perfect timing to relax, regroup and then revisit this topic. Even though I’ve shared parts of my story in the hopes that people would empathise, it still doesn’t seem to be enough for certain people who wanna try and dehumanize me and minimise my emotions. Clearly my openness and growth has touched a nerve in someone who feels they haven’t done enough in terms of letting people in on their spiritual practise and struggles in order to provide a template for people to work with, rather than trying to appear as some infallible dictator/know it all who people should listen to and aspire to be like (I don’t deny anything about myself. I can be arrogant and nasty when I’m challenged or provoked and ruthless when people take the piss – fame, gangstalking and privacy violations have just made these things worse).

One of the reasons I created this blog was to go into more detail about what I’d been learning and experiencing. I don’t just want this power and knowledge for myself, I want everyone to have it. I want everyone to know what I know and be able to experience what I experience. That’s why I’m sharing all this. It doesn’t originate from me anyway, it originates from Source and it’s being channelled through me. What I realised though is that I can’t just tell people what I know and expect them to believe it just because I do, I have to show them why I believe and provide details and proof. So instead of admiring me for my growth, this person’s choosing to try and poke holes in my words and even use my own terminology to try and “bring me down a peg or two” out of jealousy, and I can see that they’re coming from a place of feeling threatened by me. All I’m hearing from their words are “I’m better than you”. He should’ve learned by now that trying to compete with me or make it look like you’re better than me is pointless and it will always backfire (yeah, he’s a man. you know you’ve got power when even men start trying to compete with you). He’s probably pissed off because I didn’t reference his website as the place I found the hidden hand interview as well. I’m glad I didn’t, and his actions have confirmed why I didn’t feel like I should’ve in the first place. Do you or your writers reference me or people in my life as the inspiration for your articles? No you don’t. I don’t expect you to either because if you did you’d be landing yourselves in the shit. I only looked at the website that day by chance anyway, I’m sure I would’ve found it somewhere else. I didn’t even need it, I’ve got other documents that I’m gonna be using, so the sooner people stop thinking or acting like I need them the better.

Being someone with this much power and influence I need to be careful about what I’m promoting. And I won’t be promoting anything that refers to me as an alien who may or may not have lived other lives as a human. And also suggests that we as humans shouldn’t feel as if we’re special. Speak for yourself on that one mate. For someone who promotes collective evolution, he should focus on his own because there seems to be something lacking if he feels the need to question my humanity. Not that I need to explain myself but what he doesn’t realise is that sometimes I come from a place of pure logic, and I don’t expect him to understand 6th dimensional thinking. I know how Jesus walked on water (and I’m talking scientifically and metaphysically), I know how the world’s gonna look when the governments and the financial systems collapse, I know what needs to be done. But I’ll reveal those things when I feel it’s necessary and when the time’s right.

I’m sure like most people who’ve had something to say about me these past few years he’s been reacting to my phonecalls, texts and what he’s hearing from the bugs in my flat. I don’t even know where to start with how wrong this is and on how many levels. But I should probably start from the beginning. When I started my tumblr I decided that I wanted to be anonymous. No pictures of myself, no personal details as in name/age/location etc. I didn’t want anyone to know who I was because I know how judgemental people can be. I was also inspired by the film V for Vendetta and the group Anonymous. I was getting back in touch with my creativity and I thought wow, this a whole new world. It turned out to be more like a nightmare. At the time of joining I had Facebook, I had a smartphone and I would write notes in my phone that were backed up to an iCloud account. Thoughts, feelings, ideas. Personal things. From the very beginning I was hacked, stalked and manipulated. I’ve never experienced full on hacking and I wasn’t privacy conscious at that time so it never really occurred to me that this could happen. At first I just thought it was a coincidence that people’s words were so relatable, then it just started to get weird. After putting 2 and 2 together I realised what was going on. Instead of respecting my privacy, my boundaries and my free will, these silly nosey kids thought I needed them to speak for me. I’m guessing from reading my notes and maybe the fact that I never really posted that much. I was fuming, as I imagine anyone would be if that happened to them. It was pure drama on there man, girls fighting over me, attention seekers wanting me to reblog their stuff when I started to get noticed, bunny boilers ringing me on private number just to hear my voice. It was mad.

When I realised my blog was getting noticed by celebrities and musicians, obviously I was gassed. Who wouldn’t be? Like I said in part one having admired these people for so many years and then suddenly they’re noticing me and cheering me on, it was a special moment and it was meaningful considering how much of myself I’d shared on tumblr. I felt loved for who I was, and that was something that had been severely lacking in my life from a young age. It boosted my self esteem, I wouldn’t say my confidence because I’ve always been quite sure of myself but it definitely made me think bigger. Can’t be bothered to go into specifics because this post is going on longer than I want it to but while all this was happening I’d moved from the hostel I was in to my first ever place of my own. That experience was ruined by bugs and cameras that were placed in my flat, which I think were put there by gangstalkers. No one else who knows me or knows of me would do something like this, it’s gotta be them. I’m not gonna go into how I realised there were cameras and bugs because it would involve naming names, and I’ve already wasted enough time on people who don’t deserve to be on my blog already. 2 family members knew about it, and now more of them do. It’s still happening even though I moved out of that place because of that very reason. They even put cameras and bugs in my car. It shouldn’t have been allowed to go on for 4 hours let alone 4 years. Instead of helping me or talking to me about it and thinking about how it’s making me feel, they care more about how they look/sound to others. I’m not sure why celebrities and people in the media feel like they should react to what they’re hearing/seeing, maybe they think they can make something positive out of it or make me feel better about what’s going on. Well it would’ve been better if you didn’t say or do anything related to what you’re hearing/seeing. I’m not like you. I don’t wanna be in the spotlight or have all the attention on me. Then there’s people who judge me or wonder why I’m so angry all the time. Oh I don’t know, maybe it’s because I can never relax in my own home, maybe it’s because everyone can see and hear every single thing I do and I have no privacy whatsoever, have you ever thought about that? They probably wanna create some new kind of celebrity out of me, well this isn’t The Truman Show so you can fuck off.

I was having counselling before all this started happening because of childhood trauma and everything else that had happened throughout my life. When I told my therapist about my blog, she contacted the early intervention service for psychosis. All I did was tell her who I was. Rather than think that could be possible she thought I was delusional. I was offered anti-psychotic medication. Taking them was the only way I could cope with being spied on. Things I’d said on the phone or at home were put into songs and TV shows or tweeted. There were no boundaries anymore. Because phones are so personal, it got to the point where I was hallucinating people coming out of the screen saying these things. I didn’t wanna take my clothes off or have a bath either because of the cameras so they made me forget. They pushed the thoughts away. The only other option would’ve been to kill myself, and I wasn’t gonna let anyone or anything push me to do that again. I hadn’t felt suicidal since I was 17 and I’m 30 now. And if this isn’t a wake up call to the toxic media and social media then I hope the recent tragic death of TV presenter Caroline Flack who was harrassed by the tabloids is. I haven’t signed the petition because I don’t believe the government will do anything about it, but I admire the tenacity of the person who created it and everyone that’s signed it. I know now why so many celebrities commit suicide. It gets overwhelming, all the attention. To go from no one knowing who you are to suddenly everyone knowing who you are. It’s great at first but then you start to feel trapped, especially if you’re getting negative attention. And everyone knows you now so there’s no going back. You can’t live a normal life anymore. Fame is a prison. You’re locked off from the rest of the world. Put on a pedastal. Worshipped as if you’re a God or rebuked as if you’re the devil when you make a mistake or do something people don’t like. The whole thing’s toxic and it’s fueled by the media and the paparazzi.

I guess the only sense of empowerment I’ve got in my situation is the fact that my blog is protected by Creative Commons copyright. Since no one wants to show me the truth so I can take this to the police and press charges I’ll have to gain satisfaction from the fact that if I see anything from my blog in the media I can sue the shit out of them. I could never understand why people would do something like this to me, or how they could do something like this. Maybe they wanna see or know how I do it. Well if everyone just fucked off and left me alone from the start I would’ve made this blog a lot sooner and then you’d know. There’s been a total lack of respect. Not to mention the privacy laws that have been broken and the mental and emotional damage it’s caused. There’s been no asking. Just taking. I just wanna emphasise that I did not manifest this. This is a manifestation of a toxic culture that’s been created by the media and I’m gonna end the post with this: Where do you think they got the idea for the new Joker film from?

I won’t be kept at arms length, stolen from or used any longer. The doors better be open by the time I write this script.